Looking back to 2006, I look at my life changes and the big decisions I made to leave Boston and my full-time and promising job in the advertising industry to join Siri Lindley and her elite squad, move to Boulder and give triathlon a go- a 110% effort- for the next 8 years to try for the 2012 Olympic Triathlon Team. I look at my decision to train as hard as the best girls in the sport- to spend extra time learning and watching and training as if I were a professional. I look at Siri and my decision to race certain races- well, to race as much as possible and gain experience and race knowledge. I look at my decision to not go pro after my first year but to go pro my fourth year in triathlon in 2009. I look at my decision to leave my coach, Siri Lindley, and my training partners (some are actually still my training partners in the summer months!) to go off on my own and focus on me and develop Mary Miller to be her very best. I look at my decision to throw myself in the mix in some top races so far in 2009 and to be humbled and excited for what could be!
Lots of decisions...and those mentioned above were just the big ones!! Every single day, every moment, the decisions I made on how I trained, thought, recovered, ate, slept, etc. impacted me, Mary Miller- the woman, the athlete I am becoming. Whew! Too many! And sometimes, I get bogged down and lose focus on my long term plan.
Here I am- after the Philadelphia Triathlon in 2009. Having raced 5 races not up what I am capable of- I met with my new coaches, Bob Seebahor and Susan Williams. We all came to the conclusion that this season looked a lot like my other seasons-- just races and races and more races- but WHEN was I going to focus on attacking my weakness and improving my strengths? In the off-season? Wait until November and then take care of the basics (form, aerobic base, efficiency, strength) and just keep racing this season? Or- take a step back, look at the next 4 years- where am I now? and where do I want to be? And come up with a strategic plan to be where I need to be and start racing and competing in higher profile races and doing well! So another BIG decision sat in front of me- a decision that would impact me now and for the next several race seasons... I needed to spend some time with myself and do some thinking. It was a no-brainer decision though-- I knew in my heart what I needed to do (sometimes when decisions are powerful enough in my heart, my heart with actually thump hard in my chest). But man! My ego and my confidence would be crushed- in need for some serious repair!
The next day, I called my coaches and said... “let’s do it. Sign me up for focusing on Mary Miller and building “her” up to be able to race and compete with the big girls.” Making that decision was hard but probably one of the best decisions I could have made for myself. Honestly. to go from being ranked the #1 amateur triathlete in 25-29 to making the leap to a professional-- and finishing 15th, 15th, 8th, 11th and a DNF (due to sickness- I have to mention that because DNF-ing Philly was a the worst feeling)-- it hurts the confidence bigtime-- the negative spiral continues downward. For me? That’s not the path I would like to travel down- I am making a change and we (coaches and myself) are on a better path.
Will I be racing? Yep! You bet! But for now, I am in a 6-week training block- in the thick of training long and gaining strength and stamina. I am headed over to the Zone Urban Epic to race next weekend (which I am looking forward to racing!!) but other than that-- just training.
Eyes on the prize. I found a quote scribbled on a small piece of scrap paper- it’s a quote which I loved as a young gal about to graduate from college. It read: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
